This Can't Be Good For Your Lady Parts!

I was in a foul mood because I didn't want to go to the gym today.  Maybe it's because I don't take exercising seriously, well....... enough to cause results that is.  I prefer to ride my bike outside at a leisurely pace with no wind.  If the wind is blowing ever so slightly, I can't ride.  My Big Brittany Spears and Beyonce thighs don't allow such things.  Well with my Pissy Attitude, I tried to swipe my thing a ma gig and it didn't work.  I'm probably locked out of this 24 hour gym because me and my girls were changing cars because for the month of December my car was broken.  Gosh, I honestly didn't think these 24 hour gyms checked their monitors.  I was looking for someone to let me into the gym when I accidently walked into a Spin Class that was just fixing to start.  I decided instead of hasseling with the gym, I would take the Spin Class in the adjacent building.  For starters, someone had to adust my itty bitty ass seat.  I thought to myself, "this ain't gunna be good".  The pedals of a Spin Bike is like a holster for the feet.  Again someone had to put my foot into the contraption.  I cut a bunch of jokes saying stuff like, "Do ya'll have a Disco Ball that lights up?".... "Can ya'll play some Shinedown for me instead of that Techno Stuff I know ya'll gunna play?"....Nobody was laughing.  I though, "Wow, this is gunna be Brutal"......I started peddling and right away I could feel the difference between the bike I ride outside to this Spin Bike.  The teacher would yell, "TURN THE TENSION TWICE TO THE RIGHT!!!".... I turned it to the LEFT.  After about 15 mintues my Lady Parts were hurting.  I thought this can't be good for you.  Which explains why Lance Armstrong has one testical. Badda Bing Badda Bang.... I'm a cancer survivor too, La De Da...The teacher would yell, "UP UP UP CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN!!!".... I did not, I was in my own little world probably peddling in slow motion.  I knew this Spin Class was too hard.  I'm a month shy of turning 50, more than half my life is over.  I got one foot in the grave.  It's over for me, and I know it.  I gave the class 43 minutes and left bow legged.  Now it's time for a Bubble Bath, time to Soak My Lady Parts.  Goodnight Lance and Goodnight Everyone.  Don't Forget, Life is Short!....Thank God.