Tuesday, June 19, 2012
I Peed On The Plane!
I'm beyond terrified to fly. I'm 49 years old, my husband and I never got on a plane and left our 4 daughters in 22 years. We were invited to a wedding in San Francisco, my husband's good friend's only child, a daughter was getting married. We tossed around the idea to go to San Francisco for an entire year. Three weeks before the wedding I suprised my husband and said, "I booked us a flight, pack your bags, we are going to San Francisco!"....Well the day came for me to board the plane. I thought I would face my fear and not take anything to relax on the plane. When I saw the plane through the window I panicked. I found the bar, bought a glass of wine and downed my xanax. I'm not a drinker, 4 glasses of wine a year to me wouldn't qualify me as a drinker. My anxiety heightened as I was boarding the plane. Up close to me the plane almost looked like a toy plane. My husband and I found 2 empty seats. I then decided to go to the "Mile High Bathroom" in front of the plane. Who walks out of the Camper Bathroom?....A 6ft 2 nice looking pilot that I kept eying, making sure I didn't see any twitching or anything. As I was Hovering over the Wasteland Toilet, I noticed my sandals were getting wet, then I could feel my leg getting wet, then I felt my Maxi Dress getting.... that's when I realized the seat was down and I just peed on myself. I was so zonked, I didn't even notice the seat was down. I mean what public restroom ever has the toilet seat down? I then spent the next 5 minutes trying to clean the 3 square inches of floor with paper towels. I hurried outta there and apologized to the passenger for smelling like pee. I told then I just got of a mental institution. Okay the last 2 lines are jokes, I really just hurried myself to my seat, hung my head low and thought to myself, "I'm 49 years old,I'm stuck on a plane, and I just peed on myself."
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