"YOU SLOW AS F@#K BRO!!"

I just got back from a 6 hour wait in the Emergency Room in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  I checked in at 11:30am and was released at 5:30pm.  I knew it was going to be bad when I couldn't find a parking place.  I see what I thought was a good parking spot, but a bitchy girl pararmedic said I couldn't park there because that's where the amubulances park.  There were 8 empty spots for the ambulances, I saw the sign. But where I was going to park there was no sign.  I snapped at the bitchy girl paramedic and said, "I see all the spots that are marked AMBULANCES ONLY, but this spot has no markings, therefore I can park here, I then said if I don't park here then where am I suppose to park?"   She snapped right back and said, "I don't know(in her mind said, I don't give a rat's ass you High Class bit@#, I've been on call now for 24 hours) but you can't park there."  So I kept circling the parking lot until someone  left, which was about 30 minutes.  There was a lot of construction going on because they are enlarging this Emergency Room.... To accomodate more peole that will spend more HOURS moaning, waiting, and complaining. The first thing I noticed was that I was the only white person there in a sea of African Americans.  I'm not being a racist, people that know me know that I write what I see, and I write what I hear.  I checked in at the front desk and headed to the vending machines where I knew I would be eating lunch and dinner.  I'm called to the back after an hour wait to explain why I was there.  Let me start by saying I've had some hard knocks in life.  I'm Bi Polar with paranoid thoughts, diagnosed and misdiagnosed 25 years now, I had Thyroid Cancer 7 years ago during Huricane Katrina, feeling like SHIT for 7 years on and off , and I had 2 discs replaced in my neck, 2 summers ago.  That's just the highlights, I have no desire to write another book right now.  Getting back to the Emergency Room visit.  The condescending not too attractive woman doctor wanted to know why I was there TODAY complaining about right arm pain, if it had been going on for 2 months now.  I said, "Look!... I am Bi Polar with paranoid thoughts, I am worried that the pinch nerve that I think I  have in my neck might paralyze me TODAY and I'll have to type with a straw."  I then added, "Don't worry I'm not here seeking pain meds, I don't take them."  I could have swore she said, "Figures" under her breath.  She then sent me back to the waiting room with orders for a CT Scan.  I knew to bring a book because it's ALWAYS a long wait in every emergency room  that I've ever been in. Some people brought their bedspreads from home to cover with.  That's what made me notice the social economic differences between them and me.  I was sitting there in pretty dress, jewlery, high heels, with an up swept hairdo.  It seems everyone in  the Emergency Room moves in slow motion, including the 2 security guards drinking coffee & reading the newspaper in the lobby.  I sometimes think doctors, nurses, and techs are all in the back watching a movie and come to  check on us during intermission.  Come on now, we smell the microwave popcorn.  They finally call my name, led me somewhere, I think to the Triage Room..... NOW LET THE CRAZINESS BEGIN.  To my right was an African American BAT SHIT CRAZY LADY who barked oders, followed by weird giggles and mad laughter (which my daughters & sister say that I do all the time)... She knew that emergency room like it was her own living room.  She shouted out, "LOOK AT THAT DOCTOR WITH BLOODY GLOVES, SHE GUNNA CONTAMINATE US ALL, SHE AIN'T SUPPOSE TO WALK AROUND LIKE THAT".... Then she said, "LOOK THAT PREGNANT LADY, SHE CAN'T HAVE NO XRAY, THAT GUNNA FRY HER FETUS" always followed by her weird giggles & mad laughter.... Then she stood up, left the Triage Room went to the nurses' station, reached over the counter and helped herself to the nurses' phone.  She must have been a "regular" cuz nobody got nervous but ME, not the Doctors, not the PA's, not the Nurses, not even the SECURITY GUARDS....NOBODY!....Another person that stood out was Gangta Man(very good looking I might add)..... He answers his cell phone many times throughout the 6 hours, the one line that catches my attention was "this nigga is a chillen with my 10 toes down"( I thought to myself , WOW, that could be the title of a rap song)....I could see he was getting more agitated by the hour.  He was leaning to the right with his hand on his face half sleeping/half lalert, then all of a sudden he hollers, "YOU SLOW AS F@#K BRO!!!"....to no one inparticular, then puts his hands in his big baggy pants, half on, half off where they stay for the next 4 hours. Then there was a young white boy with a broken nose, after his 5 hour wait he asked the BAT SHIT CRAZY LADY, "What would happened if I just left?"....BAT SHIT CRAZY LADY  said , "Nothin, they don't give F@#k about you, heee heeee"....  So white boy gets up and says," F@#k THIS SHIT, I'M OUTTA HERE.".....The more we wait, the more we ALL curse like "F@#king Sailors" (I take it we are all Bi Polar Mother@#king "Sailors")....  Now it was my turn for a CT Scan.  They come to get me pushing  a wheelchair, which makes my anxiety go through the roof.  Like, what's that's suppose to mean.  Then I start my rambling.  "Do you think maybe they gunna find a brain tumor?... Do you think maybe I have a brain aneurism?.... Do you think I might have a stroke or somethin?"... The wheelchair guide said, "maam, I'm just Transport".  The CT Scan room brings flashbacks to my terrified cancer days, a place I never want to go back.  The room is sterile and gives me the creeps.  I asked the tech/nurse/i don't know person if I will hear the knocking noise during the CT Scan.  She said, "no, this will only take a couple of minutes."..."Yeah I thought....of RADIATION!".... I had to remove my earrings, my necklace and my headband.  I closed my eyes for safe meaures and began to pray....yeah, like that has helped me in the past. I take that back...... SOME of my prayers get answered, but I like to focus on the THOUSANDS of prayers that DON'T..... My CT Scan is over and it was back to the wheelchair then back to the Triage Room for results.  During my 5 hour wait, there were 2 people that came to see me, one was to make sure my forms were correct.  What popped out at me was I did not state a religion and I was listed as Non Hispanic. "What?"... I thought.  The register said that's what they put for all white people....  Huh?.....  Then another girl came to make sure of what I told the doctor was right, which all seemed so repeative really.  Finally, after 6 hours a PA comes to get me with the results.  They took me to another room to explain the results which also scares the SHIT out of me too.  Another room, what's that's suppose to mean?  I'm always  thinking the worst. The results came back that I needed physical therapy on my right arm, if that didn't work the PA said I might need a nerve conductive test, and finally I was to follow up with my Neurologist.  I was given a perscription of musle relaxers and an inflamatory, I was assured I wouldn't OD with my everyday prescriptionss of Seroquel, Ambien, Xanax, and Synthroid.  One last thing I noticed.  All 5 of us in Triage had somehow bonded.  As we left Triage  we would wave good-bye to each other.  Kinda like saying I'm Finally Outta Here Motherf@#kers!