WHO'S SMOKING WEED IN MY GOT DAMN HOUSE!

Here it is midnight and I'm all up into Scott Weiland's Memoir....Not Dead & Not For Sale...Lead singer of my beloved band Stone Temple Pilots.  All of a sudden I smell weed.  WHAT?....IN MY HOUSE?... I joke about it all the time, but I'm too Rigid & Self-Righteous when it comes to recreational drugs, which include alcohol in my book.  Having to get drunk on an airplane to fly once in a decade does not constitute drinking.  Yes, it is true after cancer I had someone bring me some marijuana to my bedroom because I was so sick.... Don't worry  I couldn't keep the damn thing lit, futhermore I don't even know how to inhale smoke......Kinda like Clinton or Bush when they said, "aaye tried it but I didn't inhale or have sexual relations according to the United States Constitution"..... I walked out of my bedroom and yelled...."WHO'S SMOKING WEED IN MY GOT DAMN HOUSE?"........I have 4 daughters 3 are 18 and older, there's always a bunch of girls sleeping in my house in given night.... My 2 youngest ran into my room, "HAVE YOU GONE PSYCHOTIC MOM?....They yelled, "WE KNOW BETTER THAN THAT, NONE OF US DO DRUGS"..... I sneerly said, "Don't lie to me, I don't trust none of you teenagers"....So we all started  sniffing around my bedroom... My girls smelled it too.... The older daughter said, "Did you leave your hair straightner on?"...."She's acting all innocent" I said to myself, cuz I know a guilty look when I see it after taken Seroquel and Ambien to sleep.... "Listen here" I said, I know weed when I smell it.  It smells like long matted homeless hair burning on a large night light (that I failed to notice).  Wow, who would have thunk it, my burned hairbonds smell like weed.