I almost lost a TOE, so my moma could Sew!

When I was 5 years old I was sitting basically at my mother's feet while she was trying to sew.  She was sitting in a small utility room with not much space.  My oldest sister and my playmate was at school and I was bored. My mother was not a very good sewer because she seldom sewed.  She would get a whim or an idea and would quit.  I on the other have have lots of whims & ideas but I've always been persisstant & I'm  basically DRIVEN TO MADNESS...llike I always say. My mother was Bi Polar but nobody knew anything in the 1960's & 70's until her nervous breakdown at age 33.  I recently found her commitment papers from April 16th, 1973 (my oldest sister's birthday was the the next day, the 17th that caught my eye)  The Psychiatrist wrote on the commiment papers that she suffered Mania and when she did, she was anorexic.  It also said she felt hopeless and worthlessness but denied sucidal thoughts.  I'm rambling.  I gotta go back to the title.  I kept bugging my moma for attention, so when she scooted back her chair she got my baby toe.  In my 5 year old mind I would say it was hanging by a thread.  That's a Pun right?  I start crying, and she gets mad.  So she brings me to the bathtub, rinses the blood off my toe (that is hanging by a thread) and tells me to go Run & Play.  Maybe that's why I have a high tolerance for pain and I'm not very good with sick people.  I will do anything for my daughters if there were sick, my husband knows not to even come to me unless he had his own death certificate in his hands.  I CAN'T HANDLE NO BABY BOO BOO HUSBAND cuz Desiree HAS ALWAYS TAKEN CARE OF HER BABY BOO BOO DAMN SELF.  I say if I can come within one hour of almost bleeding to death from a miscarriage gone bad, I am ONE TOUGH COOKIE.  Fastforward a week and my moma is trying to take a nap.  I had just finished watching Dark Shadows (what the hell kinda show was that, For God's Sake?)  I had a stash of fabric and I kept asking my Moma to sew me some Barbie Doll Clothes. I kept saying, "Moma, Moma, Moma, Make Me Some Barbie Doll Clothes".... She would say, "Desiree take a nap, No Desiree leave me alone I'm tired, Later Desiree, Later Desiree".... I would say Come on Moma, Make Me Some Barbie Doll Clothes Moma, Moma, Moma, Moma.... Finally she grabs the scraps and takes 2 stitches and gives it back to me.  I thought to myself, "This doesn't look like Barbie Clothes, not even close.".....It was like she was giving me rags to dress my Barbie.   My sister finally gets off the school bus, then off to outside we play till dark......Fastforward to middle school where I was in the choir.... Why I was in the choir, I have no clue..... I have the worst voice imaginable, but I can dance to anything.  Our choir was going to a local competition and I needed a Royal Blue V Neck Shift Shirt, Zipper In The Back With a Gold Capital A that was made of felt on the front for the name of our school....Armstrong.  I remember all the little girls getting on the bus with their Perfect Royal Blue V Neck Shift Shirts with their Perfect Gold Appliqued A on the front,  There was Desiree with a bunched up Royal Blue Shit Shirt with a Crooked Gold Appliqued Capital A.  I was Humilated.... Maybe that is why I've learned to sew......  Was that a Freudian Thing You Think?......... or...... Maybe just a Gift I was Born  With?.... Who knows..... Maybe it was Simply a TOE Thing....The End~