THAT DAMN BITCH!

I haven't written any blogs in awhile because I guess I've been depressed.  I decided last night to go through my sewing stash and get rid of fabric.  When I say I got rid of fabric, that's  an understatement.  I went into a frenzy and threw 13 years of fabric away.  It filled up one large outside trash can, and I have two large totes ready to give away to my sewing buddies.  I have to say it was very emotional to give away my fabric.  My youngest daughter kept asking me "Where's my blue blanket, Where's my blue blanket?"....Look at me, I kept all this stupid fabric over the years, but threw away my daughter's baby blue nursery blanket that was embriodered and very tattered (thinking I would just make her a new one).  I burst out into tears and kept saying, "I was sorry, I was sorry, moma threw it away"..... I couldn't stop sobbing,  On one crazy impulse day I decided to get rid of stuff and the blue tattered blanket was one of them.     One of my older daughters decided to go through this closet  hoping maybe, just maybe I had somehow saved the blue blanket and really didn't throw it away afterall. She didn't find the blanket but found a journal I had written about my daughters when they were little.  It was only about 20 pages or so, after my misscarriage I went into another depression and stop writing.  My 4 girls would read aloud each page from this journal, it was though they couldn't get enough of my stories.  All of a sudden this rush of guilt came over me that I didn't write more about our family.  All I have are these 20 pages and now my memoir.  I guess that would be enough for most people, but not for me.  I am now going to write more, if not for the public, then for my daughters.  Whats with the title of this blog?...Well I was at the library with other local authors for this thing called Auther's Rowe.   This snooty lady author/editor next to me told me not to write about me and my life because that's not important but write for the public and write what the public was interested in.....THAT DAMN BITCH!