Here We Go Again.....

Another Hurricane I survived in Louisiana....I can't get lower than I was for Hurricane Katrina where I was one signature away from the Looney Bin....This time the hurricane spared my mind & my house, but I saw a giant roach today in my kitchen, so I'm ready to move....Roaches give me the "Freesons" a feeling only us Cajuns would know.  I take off for the grocery store today, a day after the hurricane... "Oh, no, Here We Go Again....Major intersection with no lights working, cars & trucks in every lane coming and going....Is it your turn?... Is it my turn?....Are you waving at me?.... Are you waving to the car to my right?....Who is going 1st?...The person with the largest vehicle?...No way, I'm not going, I'm going to get TBoned...Remind me to pick up some TBones for supper.... Let's start again..... IS THAT Bit@# TEXTING IN THE LEFT LANE???...Wait, let me honk at her and shoot her the finger......Remind me to get some Butterfingers for tonight...Let's start again....That Bit@#  has phone service!!!..... But... But..But... the lights to this intersection ain't working?.....Figures.....What did you say?...Go Now?....Go Now?...You?.... Me?......LOOK AT THAT CRAZED MOFO OVER THERE!!!...... He must be looking for some gas for his generator.....He needs to sweat like all the rest of the poor people... THAT JACK@#$... Is that a siren?.... I hear it but I don't see it.......Pull over?... Pull over where?....Go in the ditch you think?....No, I can't pull over to the other side, it's under contruction, that's like a 6ft drop..... Do I run over the orange cone?.....Wait, I still hear sirens ,but I  don't see anything... Quickly what month are we in?.... Let's see... August.... Wait, there's no parades in August....Wait, the siren is coming closer.... Relax it's not a firetruck or an ambulance.... It's the Police.... Uh, Oh.... Do I have my driver's license?.....Got it!.... Car inspected?.... WOW, it expired 2 years ago and it looks like I needed to change my oil 50,000 miles ago..... Tags on license plates?......By the way how do you get those?.....Car Insurance?.....Well what happened was my husband told me to put it in my car but I never got around to it, it's somewhere under a stack of bills I've been meaning to pay when I hit the lottery.....Relax the Po Po passed me, I'm off the hook today..... Today?.... What is Today?.... Is it Wed.?.... Thurs.?... Fri.?... Sat.?..... Gosh I really need to get my depression looked at....That's a warning sign that you are into the thros of depression....or is it the throws of depression?... Throws... Throws.....Throws remind of Mardi Gras....I wonder if I will be happy enough for Mardi Gras this year?.... Here We Go Again... Is it your turn or my turn?......

Might Be Mildy Retarded?

My father who I will call Felix Unger to protect his innocence (search my name, in less than 2 minutes you would know who he is) has an opinion and a name for everything & everyone he meets.  Starting with me, I'm Bi Polar but to him I'm WISHY WASHY.  People who are homeless are HOBO'S.  Kids who act up in class are HOODLUMS.  People who I thought were funny growing up, Lucille Ball, Carol Burnette, Jerry Lewis, Red Skeleton were SO DAMN SILLY.  People who were tight with their money were JEWS (including himself, even though he is a practicing Catholic), Ann Margaret, his favorite actress & all pretty women in general (WHOA TIGERS), Elvis Presley his idol until HE LET HIMSELF GO, My Music (NOISE), Naps (FOR LAZY PEOPLE), Messy Houses (LAZY LAZY PEOPLE), Dirty Cars (PEOPLE WITH NO PRIDE), Un Cut Grass (AGAIN, PEOPLE WITH NO PRIDE),  People with Dementia (SENILE), The Denist Who put who put braces on his Brown Teeth (He always said he was Born With Brown Teeth)~~~(THE TOWN DRUNK) ....A person who Squanders their Money (WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A POT TO PEE IN)....Then there's the SNOOTY PEOPLE WITH THERE NOSES IN THE AIR, Talking Politics.... All Republican Presidents (GREEDY & HEARTLESS ) ....President Nixon (A HUNCHED- OVER CROOK WHO THOUGH HE WAS HIP BY WAVING THE  PEACE SIGN), President George W Bush (A PUPPET), Dick Cheney & Donald Rumsfield (SHADY),  The Country in General (HEADED FOR A TRIPLE DEPRESSION MIXED WITH A TRIPLE RECESSION TOPPED OFF WITH TRIPLE INFLATION  caused by all former Republican Presidents), The World in General (FIXIN TO COME TO AN END), An Atheist (THEY ARE PROBABLY RIGHT), and finally my favorite anyone who makes small talk or simple chit chat, the quiet & reserved, oh, and ANYONE that is HAPPY all the time (ALL MILDY RETARDED)