Graduation/Valedictorian Speech... "To Be Honest, It's Gunna Be A Shitty Life"

I'm at a graduation ceremony listening to an 18 year old Valedictorian giving ME, or rather the auditorium, a speech on life.  First of all, let me say that the Valedictorian, many times, is the one that flunks out of college. The parents have drilled them so hard in high school, by college they are burned out and have just discovered POT.   The Valedictorian starts off by saying,  "You can be ANYTHING you want to be."  Stop right there!  I'm 50 years old, I always wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer and that dream passed way over me three decades ago. "Work Hard and Perservere," he says, "because the sky is the limit". He should have said, " The Milky Way," because the sky hasn't been the ceiling since 1957 when Sputnik 1 entered space. He goes onto saying,  "Never Be Satisfied." Wait, hold up.....Are you kidding me?... I'm never Satisfied and that's why I take a HANDFUL OF PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS, in hopes of being Slightly Satisfied.  "Be Strong," he goes on to say, then finds out his parents filed for divorce two weeks before graduation, hoping the divorce would be final while he's on senior trip.  "Dream Big." Well, I want to travel the world but so far "My Dreams" are pretty much "A Dream." Let me predict how it's gunna be.  The kids that start working full time at 18 are gunna work at a SHITTY JOB for 50 years because 40 years at a SHITTY JOB is not pratical in this day and age.  The kids that go to college are delaying getting a SHITTY JOB by four, six, eight years or maybe ten years depending on how much debt the parents are willing to take or they have topped off on their student loans.  To be truthful, I know Doctors that hate their SHITTY JOB, and I'm not just talking about the Gastroenterologists... Lets see, these college kids will finally start their SHITTY JOB, many we marry and have children where the odds are 50/50 that they will not stay together. Married or Single, they will still have to work until they die working at their SHITTY JOB.  If you think I'm being cynical then you are not on the Infamous Facebook where people HATE their Jobs so much that they start trying to celebrate the weekend starting on Hump Day Wednesday (I don't know what this means to Old People, the only thing they are Humping is patting the Hump on their back they got walking decrepitly towards their SHITTY JOB), then it's Thirsty Thursday....TGIF.... and finally Tailgate Saturday where everyone relives The Good Ole' Glory School Days when they didn't have to work at a SHITTY JOB....Then it's ONE day of recovering from their FOUR day Binge Drinking, then it's back to their SHITTY JOB. The End~