My F@#king Running Shoes!

My mood is pissy today all because of my f@#king running shoes.  Let me first say that I walk and do not run.  I try to walk 3 God Damn Miles 5 days a week.  I call them God Damn Miles because when you are walking on a treadmill to nowhere for an hour it's pretty much God Damn Miles.  I had the prettiest black running shoes with turquoise soles and turquoise shoelaces.  I LOVED THEM!.. I happened to look inside my shoe and noticed plastic showing.  On the outside of my shoe they looked almost new, but I had to get a new pair because of the inside.  Let me second say I hate to shop!....I am an impulse buyer, you will never catch me going to a store to browse...NEVER!!!...My whole day revolves around my getting my walk in for the day.  So when I have to run errands, my stress level goes up.  It's the same when I go grocery shopping, another thing I HATE!.. I walk very fast and I push my shopping cart with a vengeance.  I run into people all the time, under my breath I say, "get out of my f@#king way you slow motherf@#ker" (I really do need to get on an anti depressant).  Getting back to the running shoes.  I drive over to Shoe Carnival.  Right when I walked in the sales associate (You will never see that at BEST BUY) said, "Can I help you?"... He looks down at my shoes and says he has the exact shoe on sale.  I was excited for about a minute when I realized they didn't have my size.  Well they had one pair of shoes my size still in stock, but locating them was impossible.  I scanned the sale rack and see a pair of black running shoes with white soles and white shoe laces, "I thought, "these will do" and I purchase them IMPULSIVELY.  I get home throw my old shoes in the trash, alone with the receipt and box of my new shoes right before the garbage man came. (Lucky Me)... Later that day I head to the gym with my new running shoes. I started my God Damn Walk and noticed my toes on the left foot starting hurting.  I thought I will just have to break them in and continued to walk.  OMG, 10 minutes into my walk the toes of my left foot where hurting bad. It felt like I had broken 3 toes.   I had to leave the gym, pissing away my walk day and thinking why would my left foot hurt and not the right.  Second Day I decided to put band-aids on my toes and continued to walk.  OMG 10 minutes into my walk the toes of my left foot where hurting again. I thought, "I'm F@#ked, I threw away the box and the receipt, $35.00 bucks down the drain!".  I get into my car and sped out of my neighborhood onto the interstate until I got to another shoe store. No parking spaces..."OMG OMG OMG, My Day Is Ruined, My Day Is Ruined, My Day Is Ruined, I'm a Psycho, I'm a Psycho, I'm a Psycho"....I finally find a place to park, I run inside, look for black shoes, find black shoes with pink soles and pink shoelaces and purchase them for $60.00 bucks.  I asked the sales clerk what was the return policy. She said I had 3 months to return them as long as they WERE NOT WORN.  I thought to myself, "How am I gunna know if the running shoe fit good unless I WEAR THEM.  I won't know until tomorrow if my new running shoes work out.  Moral of the Story... If you weree me, kill yourself now and get over with it or GET ON A GOD DAMN ANTIDEPRESSANT, Oh, and Maybe try your running shoes on FIRST.  The End~